Many songs are just for listening, having fun, and dancing. But many songs which tell a story or have a message can be used to share ideas or gain support, such as in support groups or in counseling.
In that case, the incidents in the story or the ideas in the song can lead to further discussion or healing. Here’s how that might work. I have used one of my songs about a breakup in love to illustrate.
On the one hand, this song, We’re Heading for a Breakup, can be viewed as a typical country song about a relationship in trouble and the singer acknowledging that it’s time to split up and move on.
But the song can also provide a basis for discussing what causes a breakup and what to do about it. The song can be used to further zero in on the particular difficulties that a couple is experiencing and what the partners or one person troubled by the relationship might do fix the relationship.
For example, listening to the song might help to relax the individuals in a relationship and prepare the way for a discussion. Then, they might consider a series of questions to help them think about what’s going wrong.
Possibly the partners might relate to the circumstances in the story, where the equal power balance has changed, so one partner has become much more powerful and successful than the other, causing the other partner to feel ignored and left behind.
Or they could think of other issues in their own relationship that are causing problem and consider what to do to fix the relationship.
Some possible questions triggered by the song might be the following, that could be answered individually, as a couple, in counseling, or in a support group, though you can come up with other questions that apply to your own situation.
- Why are you thinking about breaking up?
- What are the major problems in your relationship?
- What are the most important problems, if you had to rank them by importance?
- How long has these problems been going on?
- What have you done in the past to try to fix things?
- How did this work? If not, why? And if it worked for a while, what happened that this approach stopped working?
- What do you each think you could change to resolve the problem?
- Who might you get help from to deal with the problem?
- What brought you together? What made the relationship work in the past?
- Do you want to get back to what worked before? Is it possible?
- Do you want to fix the relationship if it seems possible to do so?
- Or would you rather move on?
- What would it look like to move on? Are there still some things you might do together as friends? If not, how can you move on in a way that feels right and comfortable for you both?
In this example, the questions deal with the issue raised by a particular song, but you can use this approach with any songs. To use this process, just play the song, and write down a series of questions triggered by the song. Afterwards, combined the questions and answer them. You can first write down your answers and then discuss them, or you can simply discuss each question. In either case, your goal is to come to a resolution about what to do after the discussion.
Finally, here’s a copy of the song, “We’re Heading for a Breakup”, on Changemakers Music. You can also find other songs on either YouTube channel which can lead you think of other questions for discussion or support. There are songs about love, everyday life, society today, and inspirational feel-good songs.
CHORUS I know we’re heading for a breakup.
It’s gone on much too long.
You’ve gotten too bold and brazen,
Too powerful, uncaring, and strong.
VERSE You’ve left me behind in the dust,
While you’ve gotten so much fame,
So I’m behind the 8-ball,
While everyone knows your name.
CHORUS I know we’re heading for a breakup.
It’s gone on much too long.
You’ve gotten too bold and brazen,
Too powerful, uncaring, and strong.
VERSE Yes, it’s time for a breakup.
Someone’s got to clip your wings.
You’re soaring much too high,
Like you want to control everything.
BRIDGE So that’s why it’s time to split.
I can see your schemes every day.
You’re like a wrecking ball
Clearing out everyone in your way.
CHORUS I know we’re heading for a breakup.
It’s gone on much too long.
You’ve gotten too bold and brazen,
Too powerful, uncaring, and strong.